and join one of thousands of communities. Sadly he’s said lots of times no. I'm going through the same thing.but my wife is leaving me.and it hurts I luv her with all my heart.ive been married 19 years.i tell her every day I … Not because it changes anything, but it might have an impact on his life in a positive way. Sometimes people just grow apart over a long period of time and are no longer right for each other anymore. When I told him I was leaving he wasn't surprised. I find that the best remedy for pain is service, [–]skyscan1 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (3 children). Three weeks after that I started a relationship with a 20 year old girl. My wife of 8 years has recently had an affair,in the same circumstances.We were going through a rough patch in our marraige and she had started a new job and this fat arsehole was buttering her up.The sad thing is myself & her mates all told her what was happening but she was so convinced she … I made dumb decisions. I was unhappy with my work situation, my school situation, and my marriage. Then all of a sudden I find myself leaving my … I was bad with money. It has been nothing but pain for me. We are all here to provide support for each other. Not because I didnt want to, but only because I thought whats done is done and theres no going back. You need to move on and not make the same mistakes twice. Take it from me. Have you experienced something similar? In a way I feel fortunate my ex was such a piece of garbage. Dear Man that’s ready to leave wife, I really believe you are doing the biggest mistake in your life if you leave your wife for a younger woman or any other age. Honestly I can never be sure. Its never ending. Good luck and give it another chancd. The emotions must be honored. I never had an affair. Go!!! The majority of posts I read point to the ex as the problem, with the poster in a much better place for having left or been left. At first - yes, I missed him, then I realized I missed the … If there weren't many bad memories of your ex I can see remembering the good and ignoring the not so good. I know marriage is a two way street, but I think much of this is my doing. He feels trapped in the house as it won’t sell. I know marriage is a two way street, but I think much of this is my doing. Divorced this year after 15 years... tried dating... Bad idea so soon. Yep, just packed up everything and left. You seem to be dealing with it very maturely. Don't expect him to ever forgive you, though I suspect he already has. But only you have the final say to do what's right. Singer Rick Ocasek cut his wife 80s supermodel Paulina Porizkova out of his will. Hi all. [–]ladylostandcondused[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), I do wonder if this would affect me as much if my current relationship were happier, [–]ladylostandcondused[S] -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (13 children). If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please visit /r/suicidewatch. One thing I know for sure is that I never connected putting a dish in the dishwasher with earning my wife’s respect. But for some reason I keep going back in my head. This is why you should remove all connections to your exes from your life. I never cheated, don't really drink much, and was never abusive. It never happened. Press J to jump to the feed. In the last few years I started to feel restless and bored - my ex wanted to settle down, and I was still in party mode, and wanted to go out and socialise. When Mr.Regret not leaving my wife, realizes that a woman who goes with a married man has no respect for anyone including herself and that she allows herself to be a crucial reason for the break up of a marriage, has no integrity, than he will regret his actions and realize that his wife and mother of his children was far … Confessions of a Cheating Wife I was a 28-year old, stay-at-home mother of 7-year-old twins and wife of a successful 35-year old businessman. Think about what I did wrong. I am not trying to make excuses. You might get burned, she might simply say no, she might be seeing someone else. I guess what I was trying to say was I understand she sees her choice as a mistake, but that’s not how I see it. Don't stay in a bad relationship because you made a mistake in the past. She called me a week or so after ai left telling me she could do this without me. Despite all my progress, I made many mistakes. In the end you can look at yourself in the mirror and know you at least tried. I was too busy wishing my … Before it's too late. I thought he was nuts...I'm angry dammit! I found it helpful to set a time and place to grieve, to feel all the feelings. I dont know if she has started seeing anyone but I dont really care. All the best. “It basically confirmed that a) she was cheating on me, and b) she wanted to leave me for him.” He explains how she initially denied the affair but later admitted to it leading to the two of them getting a quick, amicable divorce. According to a Reddit translation, the Spanish speaking husband addresses the crowd saying, “This is my lawyer. Good luck to you. I made dumb decisions. Your family's feelings are not your concern because as you stated ... YOU poisoned that well. That's not your life anymore, that chapter closed. I can only wish you the best and hopefully you can find a way to deal with your demons. And playing ‘what if’ is extremely dangerous. Now, my wife lives 10 hours away and is with a new guy. No prenup, equitable NY State. I remind her multiple times that we need to leave by 8:30 but she kept saying “we have time and I’ll be fast”. Ok your a bad person and you made a mistake. We had just bought a new home. [–]heimbachae 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children). Prior to that, I was with my ex for 13 years, since high school. I’m going through some shit right now and OP’s post hits a chord with me. Since then Ive done nothing but think. Don’t demand anything, just tell her, Thank her for all the effort she did in the past. I loved my husband and we had an adorable little boy. Yes I have a lot of friends. [–]raucous_muteFiled 12/18/18 Final Decree 2/14/19!! Itll be hard to figure out how to do it. So when I leave we're fighting, when I come back my most prized possession is gone in a "mistake." At that point she hasn’t even started to get ready. The things weve done and the places weve been. What did you think was going to happen? I feel myself longing for my ex and the comfort he provided me, and grieving all the memories we had lost. Looking back, she was not happy with a lot of things in her life and most of the people that were close to her. It never happened. My marriage was almost 30 years. [–]lionfish_throwaway 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). Please can someone relate or offer advice. Earlier this year I finally accepted it was over and I moved on in my head and emotionally. She is doing the same thing you did, even down to the colleague and age (31). Hi Jane, reading your post, it sounds exactly what i'm going thro, i've also been with my partner for 12 years and have 2 girls aged 7 and 3 who absolutly adore their dad, but I just feel nothing for him anymore, i've been wanting to leave him for a few years but was too scared , the thought of being a single mum is/was too awful to think about. I had a life with the woman I loved and I left it all. You will find both the betrayed spouse and the ones who cheated commenting here. I know it shouldnt matter to me what they think, but itll piss some people off, not that Im worried about it. My boyfriend's wife caught us in bed. Crisis hotline for vets. I didn’t cheat on the man, or do anything “wrong”. I am trying to move on, that’s the point. Take this seriously. How?! Sorry for the ramble, I am at work. Students, faculty, and staff learning and working remotely are urged to continue to do so during adverse weather conditions. [–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (2 children), My wife of 8 years is going they something like that now , we have three kids at home , she’s not feeling happy lately , told me I’m not the partner she needs to take the next step in her career , started going to conferences all over , going out with friends all the time , pretty sure our marriage is over. Not saying it’s an excuse, but telling her she will regret it isn’t really constructive. Reply . This is why people have told me to be alone for 1 year after separation. But it remains the same, you got nothing to loose, Accept the risk of getting burned. Interested to know. This may immediately trigger the stereotype about why men leave wives – that all men are cheaters who can never be trusted – but this is not my story. I believe only when you realize that, will you truly learn how to move on. Is anyone like me, in that YOU were the one you screwed up and ruined a wonderful thing? Whose going to move where? You should always seek the advice and counsel of an Attorney, most especially if children and assets of any significant value are involved. Any day I can do that is a good day. I was angry but let him leave. I’m not perfect, but nobody is. I’m there with you more or less. Infections (pictured) began to plummet in September, and now the country is reporting about 11,000 new cases a day, compared to a peak of nearly 100,000, leaving experts perplexed. Breakups I've been lurking on here for a while looking at similar scenarios and I'm reaching out for some advice. I loved my husband and we had an adorable little boy. Thank you. I had left my 13-year-old marriage, my nine-year-old son and my eight-year-old daughter for a woman five years my junior. What makes you I am in love with an idea? And tell your story to others, just like you are right now. Some divorces involved infidelity. Think about what I left. George says: February 2, 2020 at 5:11 pm . Communicate!! I miss tucking them into bed and reading them bedtime stories. You made a selfish decision and that didn't work out, but he has moved on and it is time for you to do the same. Has anyone been in a similar situation? It’s only me that blames myself. As I am mine. Refresh your understanding of what it takes to maintain a happy relationship. You would have an easier time recovering from the loss of your marriage if you were in a good relationship now. Even if you’re both unhappy with no remaining shared interests? [–]ladylostandcondused[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (2 children), [–]Sociofunetic 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), [–]agree-with-you 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), this Of course, the betrayed husband was still livid and still “wanted to kick the s*** out” of her love interest but didn’t want to go to jail. Maybe try to figure out what’s missing in the relationship that’s causing her to look elsewhere? I think you're in love with an idea, not a man. Your story with your ex is over, do not make the same mistake in your next relationship. 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). I thought I was miserable with my wife but after leaving, moving home, and being almost completely alone for the last month, its only got worse. The wife realised she had made a big mistake in her confession. Why do you say I’m in love with an idea? Spent $40K in legal fees, now ex wants to give up custody?! I don’t know how to stop blaming myself for my mistake, it has caused me so much unhappiness and I will have to suffer the consequences for the rest of my life. I want to leave my wife but I dont dare just tell her I have a girl on the side and I want my buddies wife really bad. This is a tale as old as time. I avoid human throw pillows. 1. When I married my wife … But some days are really hard. One of you has to make the first step. It’s clear she realizes her mistake but she’s looking for support. (used to indicate a person, thing, idea, state, event, time, remark, etc., as present, near, just mentioned or pointed out, supposed to be understood, or by way of emphasis): e.g *This is my coat. You sound like my wife in a few years. Learning to be single, self care and having new experiences helped me get past it. How will we do the move? It all happened very respectfully. Dear Prudence, Last winter my daughter came to the conclusion that her career was stalled in her city, so she moved back in with us, and is working three jobs until she could get a place of her own. We live in a picture-perfect house complete with all the trappings that reflect a comfortable life. I tried to apologise in the past but he has no bad feelings towards me whatsoever and says we just grew apart. I miss him so much it causes me physical pain and it’s made even worse by the fact that I was the one who wanted this. A death must be grieved. I now look back on my behaviour and feel like I made an enormous mistake. I have been in therapy for years, taken medication, exercise daily, and do all the right things. [–]ladylostandcondused[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children). I wish you the best. I'm not proud of it, but it really is hard to "just leave". All I think about now is how much I cant stand being without her. I was more upset about my wife. I just go through the motions. I blame myself every single day and wish I could go back in time and tell me immature young self how hard the path ahead would be. My oldest was, but my younger two were teenagers, ages 17 & 19 & still at home when this bomb was dropped on them. Rutgers is open and operating. Pour your heart out to the woman you swore to love, protect, and cherish. My husband made sure to provide us all that we could possibly ask for and I […] And most importantly, I stopped putting in effort to my marriage. And often either the husband doesn’t buy this for a second, or any doubts that he might have override his need to leave and just see what happens. REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc. π Rendered by PID 31897 on r2-app-0a130f6add1ce6e70 at 2021-02-18 10:07:58.800375+00:00 running 095aa3a country code: US. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I am lying in it and trying to learn from it. Remember that my wife was my first real girlfriend. We had been having an affair for over 5 years. You can't move backwards. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. The fact that her previous job was being dreadful for her and the … I will never know 4 years down the road how it will be, but I'm sure I would have moved on by then and probably have another partner who will be right for me. Rule #1 of Divorce: Never take legal advice from your STBX or their Attorney. I try to be happy for him but my heart is broken, and it hurts even more knowing it was my doing, and that I immaturely ruined something so pure. Dear Man that’s ready to leave wife, I really believe you are doing the biggest mistake in your life if you leave your wife for a younger woman or any other age. I have a friend whose parents married each other twice — they were divorced for about a year before marrying again. I left my wife 2 years ago in a ridiculous period of early mid-life crisis. Do you should just stay with someone, no matter what? When I asked … I was so unhappy with him and with the situation I couldn’t snap out of it and I do think I may regret this for the rest of m life. If relevant, please include what state your divorce is taking place in as state laws vary. I did not take it very well at first, as it was too sudden, so not as maturely as you expect haha... She's probably living with her friends or relatives right now since a couple weeks ago, it's been out of my hands for awhile. I just wanted to say how eerily similar your post is to her situation. We like to point fingers at other things to explain why something went wrong, like when Biff Tannen crashed George … Tell him that you made a mistake. “My wife wants a divorce.” If your wife wants a divorce, keep in mind that the old model in which women keep kids the majority of time, and dads see kids on weekends and pay child support (and possibly alimony) still stands. It is him as well but I blame myself. It was her who wanted it, and I spent the first 3 months grieving heavily. You need that time to yourself. She told me there was some way we could get back and fix this. ‘I have my own demons’: Honest Djoker’s shock admission after stunning Aus Open outburst. When did I say I wasn’t leaving him alone? There was no-one else involved and it took me a long time to come to that decision. Check out our breaking stories on Hollywood's hottest stars! It feels like someone has died. [–]xoxorene 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children). That’s how I see you moving forward from all this. Divorce sucks for both parties involved. 1-800-273-8255, option 1 Sorry to hear you’re going through this. It's not worth ending things. You never know she may be thinking the same way as you. It most likely is not like that. Yep I've been through this, 8 years ago. It would just be complicated to do because of the distance. [–]kollosel 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (1 child). His kids were grown and long gone. My boyfriend's wife caught us in bed. Feeling respected by one’s wife is essential to living a purposeful and meaningful life. My husband has separated from me, we’re cohabiting. She could not get rid of her parents, but she could get rid of me. I have started counseling, closed my social life and have dedicated my life to my children and my as of now husband. We both wake up at 7:00 and I’m ready by 8:00. Mind you we still live together, and he had an affair/someone he started seeing after we separated. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe I thought my wife should respect me simply because I exchanged vows with her. I would give anything to be back with her. 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children). Time definitely heals, and I would suggest putting a stop to your unstable relationship. After 13 years of marriage and 2 kids I was done. It seems so unreasonable when you put it that way: My wife left me because sometimes I leave dishes by the sink. Certainly did not take me long to come to a painful decision and conclusion on my next step. I feel that right now you desperately need to move on from your current state of limbo, it's not going to be easy and it is true you have given up the perfect chance of a loving and caring family. © 2021 reddit inc. All rights reserved. I am tired of hurting and wish I could erase him from my mind but I dream about him almost every night. I told my wife I was going to stay in a motel for 1-2 weeks, and that if she wants to save this marriage my poster better be back in my study when I … Soon after, I ended my relationship with Jordan and vowed to reform my … I had a brief affair eight years earlier that he found out but still wanted to make things work. Do you have many friends around? You should also be hard pressed to remember to keep them out of your business. We did decide together and it’s been best for both of us. Couples who have been together for years and who are still completely in love with each other: Love and accept each other for who they are: They understand that no-one is perfect and accept that mistakes … He never brought up the affair again after I told him it was the biggest mistake of my life. I just got bored, it happens. She went to a concert with a “good Christian friend.” The guy next to her started flirting with her. I thought I was miserable with my wife but after leaving, moving home, and being almost completely alone for the last month, its only got worse. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Block and delete if all. But you need to focus on yourself and making your life better instead of wondering what could have been. And then she suddenly took a massive nosedive and changed drastically after she got her new job as a marketing executive. I’m sure it is sometimes but a marriage can’t compete with peoples fantasy of what could be sometimes, [–]throwndown1000 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child). It is understandable as the two of you paired up rather young. Novak Djokovic is famous for his mental toughness and resolve on tour. There is no way around that feeling since you feel so strongly that you made a mistake. Does anyone feel like they made a mistake?Life After Divorce (self.Divorce), submitted 2 years ago by ladylostandcondused. [–]heimbachae 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (13 children). I was 27 when he left for a 23 year old. use the following search parameters to narrow your results: Information for divorced parents, children, and friends. It’s been 6 months and nothing. I let go. After two forced moves I didn’t want to go along with and one very difficult relocation , I got so depressed and upset with him he finally gave up. She isn't a housewife she has a cleaning business she runs with her 21 year old best friend(my wife is 30) who is by all definition anti-relationship and constantly gives my wife terrible advice whenever she goes to her about anything in our relationship nher first response is always "leave him" or " I wouldn't put up with … Has she already left? Its been almost a month to the day I left. WTF?! You got what you wanted at the time, and so that isn't what you want now. It makes her seem ridiculous; and makes me seem like a victim of unfair expectations. Melissa says: April 17, 2020 at 6:54 am . My ex wanted me back after 20 years. My … The experiences we shared. A good friend told me to focus on forgiveness. Little did I realise that I was the reason she was so down and depressed. You realize that you made a mistake by leaving your marriage and relationship but I think you are making another mistake by continuing to try with your colleague. Keeping tabs on him isn't healthy for you. We had been having an affair for over 5 years. You really had no way of knowing that you were being offended something of great value. His kids were grown and long gone. My XW dropped the 'i'm not happy' bomb on me after 22 years of marriage. I’m going insane with heartbreak and he doesn’t think anything. Think about how I could have tried harder to fix things and I didnt. I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “my husband has … Anyway, enough about me, more about you. There are a lot of similarities. [th is] You probably should have thought of that before you decided a social life was more important than building a life with someone you cared about. The new guy is 27 and she is 34. I think I’m still in love with him and I want to make it stop. [–]ladylostandcondused[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child). But how could I not be? Maybe start slow. Forgiveness is a choice. So definitely giving up a stable and happy future with me, I'm a pretty decent guy to be with, albeit abit boring and stale at times. [–]Sociofunetic 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (3 children). It wouldn’t be the first time I acted entitled. I question what this means about me, and whether I am a bad person. The star striker did not make the starting XI for the 1 … Get the latest news on celebrity scandals, engagements, and divorces! [–]Rantnotover 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child). Image: iStock “We’re still not talking” Jake was furious and ended up leaving the room. You might want to apologize to your ex. I know I have made my bed and have to lie in it, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. [–]lionfish_throwaway 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (4 children). That was a month ago. I dont want to do this without her either. You’re acting like a did something truly awful to him, when all I was doing in writing this post was expressing my own personal , private regrets. I Regret Divorcing My Wife. Why Leaving My Wife Was The Worst Mistake 20th May 2019 XGemx 0 Comments better, Cheat, husband, listen, Love, ... My wife had put on weight, we hardly ever spoke, she always looked so miserable. I don’t know how else to get through to someone. I don’t believe hand holding is the correct answer to every situation. So you should stay with someone til the end of time no matter what, unless they abuse you or cheat? I kinda think she is on the rough side of that saying. [–]Super_Juicy_Muscles 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child). I held on to jealousy for no reason, I had moments of neediness, and I said things that hurt, things I regretted the next day and regret still. Meanwhile, I ended up getting together with my colleague down the track. See where I'm coming from? I didn’t pay her any attention. I knew if I stayed, everything would remain, I couldn't stay, things would not change, therefore I had to. Our house, which was fully funded by me and a little help from my family would have been ready next month. You are so afraid of making another mistake that you will regret that you are in a relationship that isn't fulfilling. Though his wife tried to make excuses for her "mistake", Seamus said he was done with their marriage after her betrayal. I am a 35 year old woman who got divorced 4 years ago. What do you think she is seeking beyond the relationship - as in, what is missing for her? We are all bad people who make mistakes. Military: My wife and I made the mistake of not talking to each other about our issues, and then it was too late when I decided to tell her there was another person entering my life. Resentment started to build between us, I started developing feelings for a colleague. Maybe that's when I find it so easy to move on. Prior to this I'm was pretty sure she just wanted a life with me, coming next month it would have been 7 years together. I had left my 13-year-old marriage, my nine-year-old son and my eight-year-old daughter for a woman five years my junior. Image: iStock “We’re still not talking” Jake was furious and ended up leaving the room. At least I can admit I’ve made mistakes. You can move forward, but you can't keep looking back. [–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children), Not always true by a long shot. Which is also why once that trust and faith is broken, it'll be hard to earn it back. Please let someone help. Told her she will regret all this someday. Stop looking at him and comparing yourself to that life. Tell her you are willing to try to work things out. I appreciate what you are saying about hindsight being dangerous, but I’m finding it near impossible to stop ruminating. I’ve never strayed before, I’ve always been a very loyal person, I don’t see the point of being with someone if you’re not wholly committed to them. We grew up together in every sense of the word - university, travel, bought our first home and got married. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Ya know? Just reach out, and talk to her. I'm the one being abandoned as my wife wants to further her career, and have fun with her friends during ungodly hours, while I just want to spend time with her building up our home and family.
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